To begin with, it stands to reason that you DO come from two different cultures and you should be prepared for many difficult situations, misunderstandings, hard feelings . The best possible scenario is when your situation resolves in a hearty laughter, you talk, the mole hill doesn’t grow into a mountain.

You are mentally prepared for the differences , you are ready to compromise, change your ways, understand each other.

First of all, you must have noticed that Ukrainian ladies love to dress very feminine …well, sometimes it can even be risqué clothes . And in our culture it doesn’t necessarily mean that a lady is offering something

Tight dresses, very short skirts, high heels – that’s how girls go for a stroll on the pedestrian street on warm summer evenings. And my American clients go crazy One of them, I remember, said : “Dressed like Mexican hookers “. But nevertheless, he liked it a lot

Those guys who visited us 15-19 years ago must remember the so-called “Central Square apartment” where we were putting our clients. The apartment itself was furnished very modestly, there was nothing extra or fancy. But you couldn’t beat the view on the Central Square of the city from the huge balcony on the high second floor !!!! Seriously, my Miami client ( who obviously has been to the best hotels of the world ) asked to move him back to the Central square apartment from a much better apartment in the quiet area of our city.

Photo taken in 2003, shows me , husband Oleg and client Chris on the Central Square, with a famous Central Square Apt on the background (you can see the balcony on the 2nd floor)

Girls were strolling in pairs or small crowds,also in search of their happiness, and the way they presented themselves clotheswise couldn’t but attract the attention of my American guests who are starved for femininity and sex appeal. Most of my clients were secretly taking photos from above the balcony. Sometimes they would run down and follow the girl trying to make the acquaintance.

Second thing. Ukrainian families are usually very close-knit and tight. So, it’s a good sign if a lady invites you to meet her parents. Usually it means that she’s very serious about you. Traditionally the family lays a generous table of all possible local dishes . I remember guys ‘ eyes getting big and comments : “Oh my God! There’s no way we will eat of all this“

You should know that in most cases you’d be offered hard liquor – and some families make their own moonshine I remember one time when we were treated the so-called “homemade cognac” and one of my clients (a really conservative and almost never-drinking farmer from Illinois) got so drunk (plastered that he insisted on us going to the nightclub later ( and his fiancee’ stayed at home with the family) , he was the star of the dance floor there And after we left the night-club he insisted that we buy a champagne at the night-store and continue the party. It was especially hysterical taking into consideration the fact that the guy was quiet, as far from the “party animal” as one may get, the last time he drank must have been 20 years before. My husband and I were 27 and 31 accordingly at the time, the guy was 47. We have survived this crazy party-marathon fine , he was a walking dead next day And he had to go ride a train to the airport !!! The last straw to break the camel’s back was when his fiancée brought a bottle of the moonshine as a gift, to take with him to the States.

Needless to say, he left the bottle on the table of the rented apartment. It never made even to the train

Yes, it is really true that ladies in Ukraine in general do not mind a bigger age difference between themselves and a potential partner. It is OK in our culture when a man is much older and it isn’t viewed as something shocking.

Women crave stability and guys who are older can provide it.

But it’s important for you to understand that if you want a young “chick” who looks hot in a short dress and swim suit , you’d better take care of your body and appearance too.

No one expects you to have a totally flat stomach and head full of hair when you are over 50 (although it is very possible…I’ve seen guys like that among my clients), but if you are seriously overweight (and continue to eat like tomorrow is the end of the world), if you are a slob , if you are dressed like an old guy – then your chances to “hook” a 20 -25 y.old beauty are very slim. Yes, throwing cash in and buying her shoes, purses, jewelery can help for a while. Gold diggers will stick around for some time, but even they will be ashamed to introduce you to their friends and won’t marry you.

Thus – my pieces of advice for you if you want to marry a much younger girl : 1) do your best to be healthy and fit 2 ) your clothes should be , or at least look expensive . Even if you are not all that rich – you can’t look like a student who delivers pizza. And phrases like : “I don’t give a damn “ or “I feel comfortable in these jeans “ won’t do. A young girl would never agree to be with you if she is ashamed of the way you look. 3) act as a younger person.

One of my good clients ( and I truly love this person as a friend ) is looking for a much much younger lady to marry. And we are talking about 35-40 years difference in ages! Yes, crazy, I know

But if Hugh Heffner can do it – Ray is trying too

The only story of his search and our common adventures on this path will make a separate book – and trust me, a bestseller!

Ray’s American ex- wife has left him for a younger dude (a white trash though), so Ray is eager to win in this secret competition J I have tried to introduce him to women in their early 40ies who are in a fantastic shape, who are smart, mature, professional – and Ray has taken it almost as an insult

I remember we went to see a head nurse in one of L’viv’s hospitals – she was a referral from one of my connections there. The lady treated us wine, chocolates, showed around the hospital, she was very friendly and pleasant, and I thought she looked great. But Ray said that she’s got a skin like a crocodile Yes, you guys can be very cynical and blunt. I felt sorry for the poor nurse who tried so hard to please us, plus she was quite attractive by any standards (American, Ukrainian, French). But she was 43 or 44, and Ray wanted a girl with the skin of a peach, freshness and youth. Well – all of us have a right to follow our dreams, and Ray is my good friend of many years and also a paying and generous client.

He pays and he “orders the music” as we say here. But if you are after a girl who is 35 years younger than you, you have to remember that the task becomes much much harder.

This one time on a date with a lady who was his dream choice (she was 29), Ray got irritated by a loud rock music , he left the table and spent all evening by the entrance of the club by himself.

Yes, it was a mistake to begin with to come to that place. But if you see that the lady you want so much enjoys the loud rock music – well, you have to pretend you like it as well, just to score points with her.

Or – go back to a 44 yold nurse . She would be happy in a classy restaurant listening to a violin.

If you want my honest opinion – the difference in age up to 15 years is absolutely OK. It happens quite often within our culture too. If you want a lady who is 20, 30, 40 years younger than you – you’d better be ready to 1) spend a lot of money, 2) look and behave younger than your age, 3) have a very easy-going, fun personality.

There’s a smart Russian saying which I really like (although with the current events in Ukraine and Russian aggression towards our country, anything Russian is not in vogue any more :)) Even when we do grocery shopping or buy shampoo and soap at the store we read the label carefully to make sure that the product is not from Russia. À la guerre comme à la guerre.

But I would borrow this particular saying. It goes like: there are no guarantees in life Except for when you go to the “bania “ – it’s a type of Russia sauna – you get a guarantee that you will leave it clean

When we fall in love we all hope for a mutuality. It’s the biggest luck and blessing in life. Expectation #2 : we hope it will last forever till death do us part.

But the reality is often more complicated and unpredictable.

Vast majority of my customers fall in love with (or get infatuated… or have lust for :)) the girls who are much younger. They all come up with different explanations of their sexual interest in the younger generation (or “robbing the cradle”). I’ve heard it all:

“I need someone who can keep up with me and my level of energy”, “I want a woman of a child-bearing age “, “older chicks have got crocodile skin “ (the latter metaphor came from my close friend, a doctor-psychiatrist). Then 2 scenarios are possible.

First group of guys try to “seize the day”and just enjoy the moment (“moment” – may mean several years with a younger lady). Others start analyzing whether this younger lady will stay with them in their country (be it U.S.,Canada or Australia) when guys of her age start hitting on her in the neighbourhood and upermarkets.

One of my clients (and a good friend too) in every e-mail he wrote was asking/ or even demanding a guarantee from his fiancée that she will stay loyal to him and will not fall out of love. I tried to explain to him: 1) a girl can easily lie to you and later act as she wishes 2) even if she sincerely plans to love you and stay faithful , people cannot fully control their feelings and emotions. Things happen…unfortunately.

Your only guarantee here could be if you marry a deeply religious girl who reads a Bible every day and acts as the Bible teaches

What I’m trying to say is: yes, you should definitely think with your “bigger head” and not rush into the marriage with a young girl if there are many red flags.

But asking for guarantees is stupid. A fiasco might happen with a woman of your age, with a woman from your own country. Quoting Forrest Gump: “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

That’s why – stop asking stupid questions Act as a real man. Be attentive, loving, caring, generous (yes, everyone has got his limits and budgets, but still… you know what I mean). Do not expect “dogs’ fidelity” only because you have brought your woman to a country with a higher standard of living. She should feel respect and appreciation all the time. Treat her as a Queen (at least emotionally!) and the likelihood that you will remain her “King” forever will be much higher.

You don’t have to be a millionaire to come to us to meet ladies.

You just need to have a steady income and stability. We have had all kinds of clients in the past (and we have owned  our agency for 18 and a half years! This being written in 2014), business men. engineers, farmers, teachers, programmers, bank clerks…etc.

But I have to be honest : ladies can’t stand cheap guys. I think this statement stands true all over the world, regardless if it’s a rich or a poor country . Every woman dreams to meet a Real Man, someone who will woo her , someone who will solve her problems . That is why the main thing is not your salary or bank account , but your attitude towards money. In other words, can you be generous? All of us have to think about financial planning, budget, retirement plan after all…

But if you come all the way to Ukraine and you are twice the age of your date, you should not worry if a lady has a dinner instead of just tea.

You can’t put all Ukrainian ladies in one category and call them low/ or high maintenance.

They are all different , and when starting communication with a Ukrainian lady, you should pay attention to the family, clothes, jewellery. Some of them come from more well to do backgrounds , some live from hand do mouth. Living standards and expectations all vary. But one thing you should keep in mind: the sole fact that you’ve got an American (Canadian, Australian) citizenship won’t guarantee you a success with ladies in Ukraine. Yes, most of them would want a chance to live a better country , but they are proud and not desperate.

When engaged, or just in a serious relationship (hoping to be engaged), vast majority of my clients were supporting their ladies. The monthly sum would vary from $200 and up (average $350) – for English classes, living expenses. It’s absolutely normal (for any culture , isn’t it?) to send gifts for holidays, or surprise your sweetheart without a reason.

And of course, you need to remember that you will have to buy air tickets for your fiancée and also support her during her first year or two in your country – till she starts working and bringing her share into the family budget. Have to mention, that most Ukrainian ladies do want to work eventually and are afraid to be locked in the house like wives in the Arab world.

That’s the question many guys think about, but not all of them dare ask Well , you can ask me

Every lady is different and their views on “when” and “how” it should happen vary as well.

If someone tells you there’s such thing as “cultural differences”, “traditions” – it’s a lie

Everything rotates around 1) the peculiarities of a given personality 2) how much she likes you.

I have met a woman who wouldn’t sit on the knees of her fiance’ because she thought it was “vulgar” and “low-class”. Also, there were women who had sex even with those guys who originally came to meet another lady (so – they didn’t have a history of pre-communication and met spontaneously).

Some ladies are afraid to remain on their own with a guy and cling on me like a child who hates the idea of staying in a daycare without a parent . I’ve had it with my son who threw a tantrum on his first day in the daycare when he was 3 and I, all in tears brought him back home. On having seen this, my mother-in-law announced that she would put an end to this “soap-opera-drama” real fast. And she did.

For the next week or 2 she was taking Daniel to the daycare and leaving him there despite his efforts to plead, cry and complain. I’ve learned from my wise mother-in-law and act in the similar manner when a lady who is allegedly very serious about a guy doesn’ t let me go home and pleads me to stay, be a “chaperone” because she can’t speak English, is afraid of the guy’s possible actions and blah blah blah…  Vast majority of my male clients are well mannered people who have got class and won’t be jumping the bones of a girl without the common consent of two parties. Thus – there is no a single valid reason for a girl to be scared to stay with you on her own. Language barrier? There are electronic translators, dictionaries, gestures after all. Problems of the Universe, sophisticated subjects can be discussed later – the next day, when I’m back.

Actually most of the guys who come to Ukraine are looking for the sweet romantic moments with their lady, not sexual adventures (for the latter there’s Thailand). Holding hands, hugging, kissing, just being close are usually enough for them on a first visit.

If sex does happen , do I want to hear the details? Frankly speaking – no  I’m not a prude by any means and sometimes I show my Halloween costume of a nurse during Skype talks between a guy and a lady if there’s a need to break the ice  I can make sex jokes and talk on dirty subjects, but please spare me ( or my husband ) the details of your sex with a girl. You may tell me it has happened (if you think I am your close friend), but don’t dwell on it please

One of my clients has vividly described to me how my lady dragged him into the bathroom while I was in the kitchen drinking tea, and….everything has happened on the washing machine. He said she was fantastic in sex,needless to say he fell in love  They didn’t get married, he ended up with another lady from my agency (it’s a long story for a separate chapter). Rob continued sharing the juicy details with both me and my husband even when he started dating another lady, and they got engaged…he couldn’t get Anastasia out of his head for a long time. Most likely he wanted to ruin her reputation in our eyes so I wouldn’t introduce her to anyone else ( he was still in love ).

Well – some things should remain between two people only. And Rob has behaved like a low-class (although he was a millionaire).

The bottom-line: there is no such thing as a set scenario when it comes to the question of sex between you and a Ukrainian lady. And statements that Ukrainian ladies are cold (due to the culture or upbringing) is absolute bullshit. My advice : fall in love, woo and court your lady, let things happen naturally. And if you have invested time, emotions, finances – and she is still distant – then run away!

Unless you want a frigid princess in your life